I know of someone, who is quite high up in the ranks. He likes to belittle other people. I call him the perfectionist. In a way, this person is a bully since he seems to enjoy it when he puts people down. As much as I try to be kind, I find I cannot like this person. He can dress up to the nines, and pretend to be the perfect host -- but I know he is not nice and his kindness is fake.
It isn't always easy to like everyone. There will always be someone whom you find difficult to get along with. I find one particular person filling this role. But it is funny because even though I dislike him, I have to deal with him, once in a while due to the nature of my work. He also has to deal with me, once in a while, due to the nature of his work. So, in a way, despite my dislike, I have to overcome it and just smile as if we're friends. But we're not really. The older I have become, the more I realise that not everyone will be a friend to me. The more I learn about caring for myself and being kind to myself, the more I realise that it is alright to not be friends with everyone. But of course, that doesn't mean being unkind if and when I see him or them. Living with the regret of being unkind is the worst kind. I don't think I want to live with such regrets anymore.
In any case, I have learned this in my years of dealing with people:
- Never call someone of a higher rank your friend unless they do it first. It might hurt their pride, especially when they are in the company of other high ranking personnel.
- Never call a rich person your friend when you don't share the same status. Unless they call you their friend first. Otherwise, they would think you want to ride on their success.
- That it is better to sit alone in a humble coffee shop and enjoy your food which you pay for yourself, than sit with a rich person who would later belittle you by saying he paid for your food. In the end, you'd wish you could vomit the food he served.
- That the higher a person's status, the less able they are to be humble. Don't expect them to stoop down to your level because they might trip and fall over. Remember, they are not agile like a ballerina.