I will be honest, I like playing house. I am trying to remember my sweet experience in life and one of them is playing house with my friends. I guess this is because a house is where you feel safe and where you can be who you are, and your family still loves you anyway.
But I am a hopeless housekeeper. I look at my siblings house and I am filled with envy because they have really created a home environment that is clean and homely. Mine resembles a store house with lack of direction. But perhaps eventually, with this diary on how hopeless I am at interior designing, I can finally make positive changes, bit by bit.
Anyway, one of the reasons why things look so drab is because the art of living is expensive. Truly. As a lone parent to my three kids, along with one cat (so cute) and one puppy with the name of Lemony, I often find my wallet empty and bare except for the fuel receipts that I will claim later. But that is probably just an excuse. Some people with worst financial dilemma than me can make their house look better than me. I just need a change in my behavior and attitude and just make the changes I need.
I’ve had this problem for a long time. I realise that to make changes permanent, I need to study myself. Because otherwise, I will return to this old habit and relapse.
I don’t buy much but I have a problem of letting go
This is such a dilemma. I like holding on to things and people. I treasure what I have, but at the same time, I realise I don’t have a proper home for each of the items I love. So, I place them all inside boxes and I seldom get to enjoy any of them because they are tucked away somewhere, in boxes.
I don’t have a home for every merchandise that I buy
Going through everything in my house, I realise that I never planned the home for any specific item I buy. Fair to say, most of the things I buy are perishable items and rarely do I buy permanent items, but still, to have a home for everything, I feel, is one of my weakness. Perhaps it is because I rarely felt at home myself, particularly in the past. It has nothing to do with my parents inability to provide me with a home because I definitely had a nice one. Rather, it has something to do with the spirit of belonging from within me. It is only when I truly began to pray and learn about God that I realise I am being so unfair to myself and to my children, and to the things that I have received as gifts from God. Okay, that said, it is now to put things in order.